Reviewing the essay “When Words do More Than Just Hurt” by Ramandeep Kaur I would give the author an overall grade of 87. The author provides relevant background information as she discusses the K-pop star Sulli who committed suicide due to the hate she was recieving through her career. The author makes a compelling analysis of the online community following the hashtag “Sulli” and her fanbase as they mourn over her loss. The author paints a portrait of the community giving quotes on different members tweets in the community t. Overall the essay is well constructed and well worded. It starts off with a strong introduction and ends with her thoughts. The essay does address social and cultural norms giving multiple scenarios on how others responded to Sulli’s actions before and after her death. I would have liked to see more of the author’s subjective commentary throughout the essay and see how the hashtag Sulli used on other platforms besides twitter. The author focuses a lot on the direct observations and needs to note more on different trends/patterns noticed in their research.

         Christiane Campbell

          The online community Wu is trying to portray is sufferers of Factitious Disorder, which causes people to pretend that something is wrong with them because they enjoy the attention and sympathy they receive from it. The sources she relies on for finding out more about the disorder are online forums for people who know someone with FD and those who actually have it and are on the road to healing. She creates a verbal portrait of the community on the pages by describing the forums on which she visited for people with the disorder, or as she called, “FDers”. The first forum she visited was mostly comprised of commentary of people that fell susceptible to the acts of a loved one who was a FDer or suspected that that loved one had FD. The second forum she visited, she found from the first forum via a link in one of its posts. This time the posts in the forums were comprised of actual FDers. She notes that the FD posters have the same layout in their responses. This layout consists of the backstory of the FDer’s illness, how it affected them and their loved ones, expression that they’ve reached their limit with FD, and a request of advice on how to curb the behaviors from the disorder. The role that footnotes play in Wu’s text is providing helpful background information. For example, in the first forum she was in, the doctor in charge of it kept referring patients to his book in his replies to them. Wu then put in a footnote that someone politely called him out on it and that he denied using the forum as a way to advertise his book. In her piece, Wu describes the community by creating a verbal portrait of them, relies on specific sources, and ensures that the reader has a better understanding of her content by including footnotes with information relevant to what she is stating.

This essay is about the online K-pop community and how they contributed to the death of a K-pop idol named Sulli. I think I would give this essay a 90% overall rating. I feel as though the author did a good enough job but I had some minor issues with certain things. I feel as though they didn’t provide enough background context to really give the reader a deeper understanding of the Kpop community. For example, they only mentioned the “Hallyu Wave” in the beginning but did not bother to explain what this is. That said though, I think they did a good job with the overall structure and development of the essay. I feel like each paragraph has a separate idea that is still connected to the main idea, and it makes the essay, easy to read.

Overall the essay, “Who Needs Feminism When You Have Femininity?” by Folake Famuyiwa had a clear structure, it was coherent and well organized. I liked the hook she chose to include because it was a good transition from her abstract and also a solid start to her introduction paragraph. The essay provided a compelling analysis and description of their chosen community’s cultural norms of behavior. She had a strong social-scientific interpretation of the subreddit group titled  ‘RedPillWomen’a group of women who believe in many traditionalist conservative views. The author showed an ethnographic perspective by adopting multiple different points of view in your writing, she walks us through feminist ideology and history. She paints a description by pointing out biases: “RedPillWomen’s sidebar lacks any scientific backing behind why their concepts and strategies are full proof.” She also makes sure to include her voice by giving us her insight on the ways the redpillwomen communicate and fail to defend their beliefs. I would give it an A.

I chose the essay about flat earthers. The author took quite a long time to get to the actual cultural norms and language. But it was interesting to see how the author added how many haters the community has. When they did get to the cultural norms/language they gave good examples.

For development, I felt like that part he rushed through it because when they were describing the flat earther community they were almost done with their essay.

The author’s essay had a great organization and took us through his experience from beginning to end.

The style of his essay was also well, the sentences were clear and understandable. But I do feel like he repeated some things a few times.

Grammar and spelling weren’t a problem in this essay. For creativity within the essay was not much but the whole idea of flat earthers is a creative topic.

I would give this essay a A-.

I chose “Who Needs Feminism When You Have Femininity?” which was a great attention catching title to begin with and sounds very appealing to read. It was kind of hard to read due to grammatical mistakes which makes it seem a bit sloppy and rushed. This is a bit terrible because if they had put more effort into writing, their information would carry a heavier weight. I feel like this writer could have gone deeper into what the community is about, it all seems like surface information. I’d like to see what people are posting, commenting on, offering their opinions on in a direct informative way, basically what they’re talking about. I give this paper a 76.75 overall score. 

I was drawn immediately to “when words do more than hurt” simply because of the title. I think the structure of the essay was really well done. She introduced the topic with background information to let the reader know what he/she was going to read. I think the ending of the essay was also done well ending it on her personal opinion on Sulli. However, I would have liked to have her state more of her opinion on the topic I thought at times it was a bit robotic. I think it would have been more interesting for her to state her relevance towards the topic and add that she was a fan in the beginning in order to draw the reader in more and give the reader in a way a sense to care. I give this author a 89%.

I chose to evaluate, “Who are the Flat Earthers” and gave it a rating of 79%. The author provided essential details– like the communities vernacular within the essay. Terms such as “globalist” play a huge part in understanding how an insider within the online community views outsiders. Additionally, the essay was nicely organized with a coherent timeline. However, the author lacked significant quotes. The author should have used a lot more quotes from insiders within the community. The essay could have also included a more in-depth analysis of the online community including it’s demographic. It would have been nice if the author communicated with an insider and asked them more about their experience. Overall, the essay was nicely throughout but needed to have a better focus on the online community itself.

I review “When words do more than just hurt” and giving 90 grades. The content analyzed the “Sulli” community culture that a kop star Sulli committed suicide due to verbal violence, and her fans gathered to mourn. The author records people with different opinions in the community and states objective facts. But I think she lacks some of her own subjective ideas. In terms of development, the author introduced the background behind the culture, such as the reason why Sulli was violent by online language. The organization of the entire article is very good, let readers understand the community. I think the author ’s search survey is very detailed, but I rarely see her own ideas. The topic is very attractive. Internet language violence is a serious problem in modern times.